tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33257758214482670612024-02-21T05:58:46.216-08:00Carolyn Schuk's Observeris Quirky commentary on the passing scene. Trigger warning: iconoclasm and sarcasm ahead. Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.comBlogger104125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-66643784555835064482023-10-09T20:09:00.004-07:002023-11-16T22:31:30.104-08:00A Case For Book-BanningMaybe Florida and Texas are actually advancing education in
the U.S. in spite of their Know-Nothing education policies. It may be a canny
plot to advance literacy the Alice in Wonderland way — by walking backwards.
For my entire there have always been people agitating to
remove allegedly pernicious literature from the library shelves, or preventing
it from getting there in the first place. WhenCarolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-33327651208446057952023-09-05T17:15:00.000-07:002023-09-05T17:15:05.268-07:00Social Munchausen at University of California
It seems like there’s an epidemic Social
Munchausen* on University of California campuses. The latest case is that UC
Berkeley professor Elizabeth Hoover, who after about 20 years of passing herself
off as an indigenous American, and teaching ethnic studies under that guise, let
on to the fact that she really wasn't.
She claimed she had Mohawk and Mi’kmaq
ancestry;
inCarolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-37035157404749811622021-08-31T15:20:00.001-07:002021-08-31T15:25:46.820-07:00Mayor Demands Recount of 2020 Election, Citing Outer Space Interference
Trigger warning: Satire ahead. Santa Clara's Mayor is demanding the County Registrar of
Voters bring in Cyber Ninjas to investigate the 2020 election.
The Mayor says that she recently received evidence from the City's
pre-eminent fossil fuel advocate, a middle school blogger and a pizza oven, showing
that reptile space aliens teleported thousands of ballots to their home Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-51030217475757840532021-04-21T16:39:00.004-07:002021-08-31T15:34:27.774-07:00Santa Clara's $5.8 Million CVRA Lawsuit and the Delusions Behind It With Santa Clara's voting rights lawsuit finally settled, I looked back at more than 10 years of reporting on this issue from the first warning letter the city got from civil rights attorney Robert Rubin in 2011. In that jaunt down memory lane, I looked at some notes from the trial in 2018 that never found their way completely into any of my reporting — for space reasons, Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-19336528725735836852021-02-02T18:18:00.003-08:002021-02-25T13:04:39.493-08:00Space Laser Shocker — NFL Team, Not European Banking Family, Behind Wildfires Trigger warning: Satire ahead.
Editor's note: It recently came to Observeris' attention that the local Self-Appointed Pundit (SAP) is planning a massive exposé of the San Francisco 49ers. This presumably is intended to deflect public attention from SAP's upcoming engagement with the criminal justice system. When SAP's bombshell was leaked to Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-77096489888009810012020-12-19T16:48:00.002-08:002020-12-19T16:51:34.617-08:00Mayor Steps Up to Help Homeless Family Trigger warning: Satire ahead
Mayor Lisa Gillmor has offered to buy Mar-a-Lago from Donald Trump and
include a year’s free apartment in one of Gillmor Real Estate’s properties for
the Trumps. This week Palm Beach Fla. filed suit against
Trump for breaking his promise not to live there.
“Mr. Trump lost his job and he’s being evicted like so many
during this pandemic,” said Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-4070755934320894272020-11-10T15:10:00.000-08:002020-11-10T15:10:25.878-08:00Mayor Demands Electoral College Decide Council RacesAfter a stinging defeat for her slate of city council candidates,
Santa Clara's mayor demanded that the County Registrar of Voters not publish
election results until the Electoral College meets in December.
"We don't know who was elected right now," the
mayor said. "We know that elections are decided by the Electoral College,
not a bunch of ballots. For all we know, every one of those ballots Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-25212154147439711622020-09-23T12:35:00.013-07:002020-10-15T11:16:41.889-07:00City Denounces 49ers For Comcast OutageTrigger Warning: Satire AheadAt a special meeting today, the Santa Clara City Council approved, 4-2, a Stern Rebuke and Admonition against the 49ers for what they say was the NFL team's role in the Wednesday's Comcast outage. "We are completely outraged," said the Mayor. "First they undermine our day-lengthening initiative, which would have benefitted all Santa Clara residents, and now they cut Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-42238482278247230752020-09-22T19:54:00.004-07:002020-10-15T11:19:22.990-07:00City Files New Lawsuit Alleging 49ers Interference in City's Day Lengthening InitiativeTrigger warning: satire ahead The Santa Clara City Attorney announced this week that the City is filing a new lawsuit against the 49es. The City alleges that the NFL team has interfered with the sun’s rotation around the earth, thereby stalling and ultimately reversing the City's day-lengthening initiative. This is the 49th lawsuit the City has filed against the team. "This is just Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-4816450434983260652020-09-09T21:32:00.002-07:002020-09-09T21:38:41.810-07:00Rose Garden Becomes Santa Clara's Special District Trigger warning: satire aheadSan José Rose Garden residents report that they've started seeing lawn signs for Santa Clara City Council candidates in their neighborhood. This is the first step in Santa Clara's Rose Garden annexation, explained the Santa Clara City Mayor in a press conference held yesterday.
"We want our Rose Garden citizens to feel they're part of our community," Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-53228251099439521332020-08-20T20:24:00.009-07:002020-09-23T12:46:49.967-07:00Santa Clara Annexes Rose GardenTrigger Warning for the Humor Challenged: Satire Ahead Santa Clara's Mayor announced that the City is annexing San José's Rose Garden neighborhood, in what the Mayor calls a "liberation action." Two Councilmembers opposed the action, saying that the charter doesn't give the Mayor military powers. "Well, it would if it wasn't written by the Illuminati and the 49ers," said theCarolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-76875551720773339822020-08-03T20:12:00.001-07:002020-08-03T20:15:52.380-07:00Santa Clara City Council Moves To Repeal Law Of Gravity
Trigger warning for the humor-challenged: Satire ahead. [With a hat tip to a good friend who gave me this idea]
Facing a budget in free fall, the Santa Clara City Council
is set to approve a November ballot measure to repeal the law of gravity, which
its proponents say would cause revenue numbers to ‘fall’ up instead of down.
and expense numbers to ‘increase’ down Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-29038560780945142772020-06-25T14:33:00.001-07:002020-09-23T12:48:52.175-07:00City to Consider Replacing City Attorney with Legal Zoom as Cost-Cutting Measure
Trigger warning for the humor-challenged: Satire ahead.
Faced with a $22 million budget deficit, the City Council
has been brainstorming ways to balance the books.
“We’re in a unique position to be creative about this
because we don’t know anything about municipal operations,” said the mayor.
However, the brainstorming has posed such a strain on
council members that it had to be Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-12942309362296767362020-05-30T10:50:00.000-07:002020-05-30T10:55:28.853-07:00Equine Group Charges Biden Accuser With "Horsenapping"
An equine advocacy group, Believe The Horses (BTH) is asking
the Democratic Party investigate horse kidnapping charges against Biden accuser
Tara Reade.
San Jose Inside was one of the first news outlets to report the alleged kidnapping.
“We demand that our voices be finally heard,” said the
group’s founder and spokeshorse Mister Ed. “For decades humans like Reade have gotten Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-55346964122341796862020-05-11T16:28:00.000-07:002020-05-12T16:47:25.147-07:00City Takes Action Against Alleged "Candidates"
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Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-79916488059695625722020-03-20T19:23:00.000-07:002020-03-20T19:23:33.271-07:00
City Announces Progress on Day-Lengthening Initiative
At last night's Santa Clara City Council meeting, the City
Manager announced that the City has made substantial progress in the City
Council's goal of lengthening daylight hours.
"We can confidently say that the day is longer today
than it was in December," said the City Manager. "We have done our
due diligence and monitored Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-52119371191108102952019-12-17T12:37:00.000-08:002019-12-17T12:39:16.095-08:00Welcome Literary Yuletide
Christmas is a time for many of our favorite stories. And when
you say "Christmas story," the next thought for readers is Charles
Dickens' (1812 – 1870) Christmas Carol.
Dickens was very much the "man who invented
Christmas" as we know it today with his story of Scrooge and the three
ghosts. So as you re-read that favorite, complement it with Les Standiford's, The Man Who Invented Christmas:Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-57304124438270103422019-05-21T15:05:00.000-07:002023-11-16T22:46:31.940-08:00Proceedings of the Heavenly Planning Commission — Hearing on concept for the Garden of Eden development project
Artist rendering of
"Garden of Eden"
development concept
Attending: Archangel Michael, Planning Commission Chair; Commissioners
Archangels Gabriel, Lucifer, Uriel and Raphael; representatives of builder, Heavenly Enterprises; members of the angelic public.
Overview: A proposal for 197 million square miles of
parkland with newly created life forms. 75 percent of the site will be Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-85113472216639410092019-04-20T13:03:00.002-07:002019-04-20T13:10:09.185-07:00
When Life Gives You
Orchid Buds, Count Your Blessings
By Carolyn Schuk
Our cymbidium orchid usually starts blooming around Easter,
as the days get perceptibly longer. Its last blooms fade in mid-June, on the
longest days of the year. This year it has five flower spikes. The last time it
was so abundant was 1991, the year my son was born.
Since the millennium, the cymbidium's offerings Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-66912765710073274062019-03-19T12:31:00.000-07:002020-04-28T20:21:32.121-07:00
Take Two Aspirin and Call Me When the Fallout Clears
By Carolyn Schuk
"In Time of Emergency" gains new relevance in today's world
As we are quarantined by an enemy considered vanquished in mid-20th century America — i.e. infectious disease — a 1968 artifact I found in my in-law's basement some
years ago offers an historical perspective on public fears: "In Time of Emergency, Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-40455265203274716362018-02-02T17:30:00.000-08:002018-02-05T12:06:46.695-08:00Silicon Valley's housing crisis: Why we have it and what it costs us
In an interesting juxtaposition, this morning's Mercury News front page featured a story about how 90 percent of the housing California needs isn't getting built, and in another section, a story about how Apple's mothership donut was built with no thought to where the 12,500 people who work there will live.
Santa Clara's own marquee tech campus, the NVIDIA flying saucer, was also built without Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-22198352728044477392018-01-11T16:09:00.001-08:002018-01-11T16:09:52.795-08:00
Ro Khanna: Doing the People’s Business by Finding the Common Ground
By Carolyn Schuk
Many politicians can say little in a lot of words. But it’s a rare politician who can say a lot in a few words. Santa Clara's Congressman Ro Khanna (D-District 17) is one of them. Recently, he took some time from a jam-packed day to talk with the Weekly about what Congress Members do all day—contrary Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-30968197385449534402016-12-30T12:00:00.002-08:002017-01-09T22:56:39.702-08:00Lighting Up the Darkness: Chanukah's Journey from Winter Dark to Hopeful Light
Imagine a
world without light. In our modern setting we are surrounded by light. We flip
a switch to repeat the miracle of “let there be light” — whenever and wherever
we want it. We have to drive miles from our urban homes to experience the truly
dark night sky.
But for most
of human history people have lived in what the historian William Manchester
described as “a world lit only by fire.”Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-78878291299415934532016-12-20T10:32:00.000-08:002016-12-20T10:33:36.906-08:00From Here to Oblivion: A Holiday Gift Guide
By Carolyn Schuk
It's that time of year again, when we come down to the
holiday gift-giving wire empty-handed. As a major-league waster of time on the Interent, I can help you answer that question. I've culled the twilight
zone of cyber space to bring you the crème de la crème of gifts that will make
you unforgettable – and possibly an anathema – to the recipients.
Although Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3325775821448267061.post-47100090726049001182016-05-03T22:16:00.001-07:002016-05-03T22:16:23.234-07:00Howling by Sarah Palin
This has been gestating a while....
Howling by
Sarah Palin
(with
apologies to Allen
Ginsberg)
I am the
worst mind of my generation, squirmishing the grammar, thawing hysterical
refudiation
preening for
TV cameras at primetime looking for an angry comb-over
lamestream
media heads spinning for the hallelujiah going rogue left and right in the machinery of night,
you right
wingin’ Carolyn Schukhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03871163755042708049noreply@blogger.com0