Saturday, May 30, 2020

Equine Group Charges Biden Accuser With "Horsenapping"

 An equine advocacy group, Believe The Horses (BTH) is asking the Democratic Party investigate horse kidnapping charges against Biden accuser Tara Reade.

San Jose Inside was one of the first news outlets to report the alleged kidnapping.

“We demand that our voices be finally heard,” said the group’s founder and spokeshorse Mister Ed. “For decades humans like Reade have gotten away with this kind of behavior with impunity because nobody listens when horses talk.”

BTH alleges that Reade kidnapped a horse named Charm from an equine rescue organization without the horse’s consent. Charm says emphatically that she did not give Reade consent and was deeply upset by Reade’s assumption that she, Charm, wanted to be adopted by the human.

When questioned, Reade said that Charm had given hoofed consent, but that she didn’t keep a copy.

“We demand an non-partisan investigation of these charges,” said Ed. “Charm was taken advantage of by a human who used her position as a verbal biped to force herself on a quadruped without the resources to fight back.”

Ed also said that his group was investigating Vladimir Putin’s equine relationships, calling widely distributed photos of the Russian leader on horseback "disturbing," and "at least suggesting sado-masochism." Reade has expressed admiration for Putin and some suspect a connection.

The Democratic Party had no comment. Donald Trump tweeted, "FAK NUWS trying to smeer a desent womin. #gratestprezadintevr."


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